Reflection

 I sat in a budget meeting today at work for Capital requests for the next year. The OR management gets together and throws all wish list items together for someone higher up in the organization to deem worthy or unworthy of funds. And if unworthy, you're just left with what you already have. We are asking for everything from a couple of wheelchairs in OPS to new retractor sets for the robot. And as the session continued for a bit longer than 20 minutes, discussion escalated from a conservative nature of what we really might need to what we would absolutely love to have..."if we never ask they can never tell us yes." They could still tell us no, but the unasked question will always be a no.

And then tonight in small group, we discussed our memory verse for the past week.

Ephesians 3.20-21

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all we could ask or think according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Jesus Christ for all generations forever and ever. Amen."

 We talked about the limitations we place upon God by not being creative enough and by not giving enough credit to Him to do all He is capable of and wanting to do. We continued on to discuss other things from the passage of Ephesians 3.14-21.

Then in sharing prayer requests, I asked for Gods provision of a new job for me to continue to provide for my family as needed but to allow me to work less and have a bit more freedom and flexibility to serve my husband and kids as well as minister to those around me. I discussed my need also for some contentment for the moment, resting in knowing that God has called me to this, and that He has purposes greater than I can see or understand.

And as I was just in the shower, where I do some of my best thinking, I was struck with the realization that I so quickly after reciting the memory verse limited God to one way out. I asked for peace to be granted in the moment, but ultimately for me to find a new job. I revoke that and ask for what I truly want...

I want to feel effectively used by God to be a mother and wife and neighbor and friend and employee/coworker/boss, all for His glory and His Name to be made known. I want to trust Him with the power He has (really, is there any other kind?) to creatively grant my request as He sees fit and to provide understanding for me through this process.

I can ask all sorts of things of a group of men/women who control a limited amount of money and power within an organization, yet when it comes to the Creator and Maker of all things, I get specific and controlling of what I think I want. May I be bold in my faith to stretch things, knowing that if I, "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all these things will be added to you." (Matt. 6.33)

And I know it's been awhile since I posted any pictures, so I promise some kid pics to come soon...they're pretty stinkin' cute, so stay tuned!